A couple of days back I was traveling in the bus. Just me and my thoughts, I letting them wander aimlessly and explore aspects of everyday life that I take for granted and move hurriedly on to do my work. So, I was looking out the window and I realized that I had suddenly understood the meaning of something that I had read in a book 2 years back. I had been seeking answers all the while regarding love, sex and other desires… and my questions about all these things would be “How”.
Around 2-3 years back, I had read a book by Paulo Coelho called “Eleven Minutes”. It is a story of a young girl/woman from Brazil who consciously and somewhat reluctantly decides to be a part of the flesh trade in far off Switzerland to survive. She becomes a prostitute who does her job with dignity, not once feeling ashamed of herself. She maintains a diary/journal wherein she pens down her thoughts and experiences as she tries to discover the spiritual or intellectual side of this carnal desire. There was one particularly interesting idea or statement that stayed with me. And while I never really attempted to understand it, but always wondered about it, the meaning became suddenly clear during that bus ride.
Here is the passage from Maria’s diary: (the sentence in bold & bigger font is what I’m talking about and is what intrigued me.)
“We all have a clock inside us, and in order to make love, the hands on both clocks have to be pointing at the same hour at the same time. That doesn’t happen everyday. If you love another person, you don’t depend on the sex act in order to feel good. Two people who live together and love each other need to adjust the hands of the clocks, with patience and perseverance, games and ‘theatrical representations’, until they realize that making love is more than just an encounter, it is a ‘genital embrace’.
Everything is important. If you live your life intensely, you experience pleasure all the time and don’t feel the need of sex. When you have sex, it’s out of a sense of abundance, because the glass of wine is so full that it overflows naturally, because it is inevitable, because you are responding to the call of life, because at that moment, and only at that moment, you have allowed yourself to lose control.”
This is nothing too abstruse to understand, but knowing it like it’s your own thought, is what I’m referring to.
The glass of wine - our life.
Love is the wine we all seek.
March 2007
Around 2-3 years back, I had read a book by Paulo Coelho called “Eleven Minutes”. It is a story of a young girl/woman from Brazil who consciously and somewhat reluctantly decides to be a part of the flesh trade in far off Switzerland to survive. She becomes a prostitute who does her job with dignity, not once feeling ashamed of herself. She maintains a diary/journal wherein she pens down her thoughts and experiences as she tries to discover the spiritual or intellectual side of this carnal desire. There was one particularly interesting idea or statement that stayed with me. And while I never really attempted to understand it, but always wondered about it, the meaning became suddenly clear during that bus ride.
Here is the passage from Maria’s diary: (the sentence in bold & bigger font is what I’m talking about and is what intrigued me.)
“We all have a clock inside us, and in order to make love, the hands on both clocks have to be pointing at the same hour at the same time. That doesn’t happen everyday. If you love another person, you don’t depend on the sex act in order to feel good. Two people who live together and love each other need to adjust the hands of the clocks, with patience and perseverance, games and ‘theatrical representations’, until they realize that making love is more than just an encounter, it is a ‘genital embrace’.
Everything is important. If you live your life intensely, you experience pleasure all the time and don’t feel the need of sex. When you have sex, it’s out of a sense of abundance, because the glass of wine is so full that it overflows naturally, because it is inevitable, because you are responding to the call of life, because at that moment, and only at that moment, you have allowed yourself to lose control.”
This is nothing too abstruse to understand, but knowing it like it’s your own thought, is what I’m referring to.
The glass of wine - our life.
Love is the wine we all seek.
March 2007
19 comments:
"When you have sex, it’s out of a sense of abundance, because the glass of wine is so full that it overflows naturally, because it is inevitable, because you are responding to the call of life, because at that moment, and only at that moment, you have allowed yourself to lose control."
I don't agree.
harsh: so, in all earnestness, wat do u have to say 'bout it?
how wud u explain it?
Uh, I could say a lot. But not in the mood right now.
Think about it yourself a bit.
Nice thoughts & a well written post!
But sometimes to release our frustations and anxieties also, we indulge in sexual acts, maybe to fill up a sudden vacuum in our lives, so it's not always that it is out 'of a sense of abundance', but just to hide our weaknesses!....On the same note I also agree 'Love is the wine we all seek' and intense and true love can force you to lose control on yourself.
i agree - i read that book, i loved it, i fell completely in love with maria...
one thing i have felt though, is that all us lesser mortals - mere humans - are but seekers, nay, beggars of love. i don't mean to offend u - but look at it - hald the time, we're thinking to ourselves tht this or that person doesn't love me as i do love him/her, or that he/she doesn't understand me. there are but a few enlightened souls - that can give love. simply for the sake of it - not begging to be loved in return. it is from such people that we need to learn how to love. i mean, truly love others.
very nice thought! thanks for sharing.
You know that is an amazing thought as penned by the author. And there are more than one way of looking at sex and/or love. I wish I could say more :)
Hello Shitrint,
I can't comment on your blog post.. since I have not a clue myself. :| And I haven't really thought about it yet..
But, what dharmabum has written is.. :)
"there are but a few enlightened souls - that can give love. simply for the sake of it - not begging to be loved in return."
PS: I love "Tu Bin Bataye"... I am listening to it right now... love Naresh Iyer's voice.
harsh: "Uh, I could say a lot.
I'm all ears.
kalyan: thanks!
yeah, i agree. sex has got everything to do with love and at the same time, its got nothing to do with love. sex is just sex. u got the urge, go ahead and have it. its a simple funda for some peeps! frustration, anxiety, weaknesses are the manifestations of the urge! :)
dharma: oh thank god! at least someone's read the book! :D
and wat u say is correct - "there are but a few enlightened souls - that can give love. simply for the sake of it - not begging to be loved in return. it is from such people that we need to learn how to love. i mean, truly love others."
beggars of love. so correct! everybody wants to be loved...
sanjay: :)
differing perspectives, yeah...
sunrise: lovely songs RDB has.
i agree with dharma in some ways, tho that state of being is very difficult to achieve.
everyone: somehow i was expecting a lot of comments against the idea this post talks about. strangely, only harsh seems to be the one with a, may i use the word, 'very' diff POV.
WOW what abeautiful description of it all. tnxx for sharing it with us.
But I disagree with one line there...that sex is abt losing control. It isnt. It's abt being in real control of ur emotions...surrendering to em doesnt mean losing control. The certain emotions r there for a reason..to be executed.
Wut say?
Keshi.
btw Im so sorry to hear abt the dogs...HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ! Thats so sad :*(
Keshi.
You're tagged, Shitrint..
"genital embrace"
Thats such a lovely way of conveying "sex". :-)
Having sex is about desire...abundance of desire...the life so overflowing with desire...and the only way you can beat the desire is to succumb to it...and thats what losing control is all about...
Okay honestly, I started of trying to contradict the statement, but somehow it fits so correctly in my stream of thought that I now tend to agree with it..
Pretty deep well written thoughts!
-Ram.
keshi: first of all am glad your safe and ok! :)
"But I disagree with one line there...that sex is about losing control. It isn't. It's about being in real control of your emotions...surrendering to em doesn't mean losing control. The certain emotions r there for a reason..to be executed."
yeah i second your thoughts. and i also see it as u know that u can lose control with that one person, one love and be completely reassured about your actions. its not as much about losing control as it is about losing inhibitions and getting the freedom to be just the way u are with yourself with that other person. i think thats the biggest self-expression...yeah..losing control seems outta context here! :)
sunrise: yes ma'am! :D
RamaG: "the only way you can beat the desire is to succumb to it."
i dunno if i agree with that. the more u have sex, the more u want to have more of it, just like chocolates! there's no midway about it. u don't have it, it slowly fades the urge off, u have it and the urge increases, right?
thanks for dropping by! :)
yep...with one person ofcourse..and lets add 'at a time' to it :):)
Keshi.
ahh as usual.. i havent read the book about the para though.. in a way it makes sense..
I think its rare to find someone you love and who loves you.
I agree its not fair that we expect the ones we love to love us in return as well, love should be a little more evolved then that.. but the truth is ultimately we all need a little love and sometimes that is all we need
thanks for saying thanks! :-)
well..i think its the devil and the deep-sea conundrum..isnt it?
if you restrain...you tend to keep it suppressed and at a point it affects your mind...
if you succumb...there's every possibility that you'll get pulled in always...which might lead to addiction.
Its difficult to strike the right balance..
going back to the statement..maybe the abundance builds up because of the restraint?? hmmm..some food for thought...yeah i think you are right..you can liken it to eating chocolate :-)
-Ram.
Keshi: yep, "one at the time" is an important clause! :P
Aditi: Welcome back gurl!
you've put it very nicely here, i dunno wat to say. apt words :D
*but the truth is ultimately we all need a little love and sometimes that is all we need.*
so true, if only we all understand that all the time... :)
RamaG: "maybe the abundance builds up because of the restraint??"
hmm...quite possible.
nah the truth lies in understanding that just because we need it.. want it.. doesnt mean the other person can give it..and maybe there is nothing wrong in loving someone who will never love u
Hi..i don know how i came to ur blog...i was watching blog after blog...Stopped at those bold, red coloured letters,titled the "glass of wine of love"..b4 i comment i intoduce myself..iam balaji..very much new to this bloggin stuff...
Mmmmm...thinkin wht to say... so..to say least..i believe Love..n sex is a part of love, which has som emotions attached with it...goin 4 sex in frustraion, to fulfill our carnal desires is ill....N finally to Love somone n to be loved by that somone is a gift that life gives us....:-)
Post a Comment